Dogmatic

Sitting in a car-park and looking over the dashboard onto a vacant car-lot. Feeling battered, worn-out and not wanting to face the day. Looking at the overgrown black crows perching on a half-lit street light. Listening to Pink Floyd softly pouring out of my iPod attached to my car’s sound-system. As I draw each breath and close my eyes - for a momentarily, solitary split second I feel at peace. But then I breathe out and open my eyes to a cloudy, overcast, grey day and I wish I was someplace else.

Driving past my old school. My god, it’s been a lifetime worth of years since I was here. I get a flashback. This is where I first saw the ‘Wizard of Oz’. This is where I first saw ‘Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory’. This is where I learnt to read. To write. To dream.

This is my old neighborhood. I walked through this park as an infant. I walked through these streets as a child. All these moments. They’ve come and gone. Never to be lived through again. Never to experience those fleeting instances that have made me who I am.

Life is moving past at a rapid pace. Seeking to find happiness. Searching to find new memories. But it all zooms by so quickly. It’s hard to hold on. It’s hard to constantly hurdle over insistent obstacles when your intentions are always of honor and dignity.

An overwhelming sense of dread envelopes me like a sheet of black cloth. Surrounding me in darkness.

I sip on a shitty Starbucks coffee. Leeching the unprotected wi-fi network I have piggy-backed on. Deep in thought. Alone in my solitude. Feeling. Thinking. Contemplating. Wishing my old friend called depression, would find some other soul to torture today.

Time to go into work. Another day awaits.