Tag Archive for 'True Blood'

If you’re anything like me, at the end of Season 1/start of S2, you’d have been disappointed that the corpse inside Bellefleur’s car wasn’t Sookie bloody Stackhouse. The end.

I’m Penny B. Dreadful, and you’ve been shit.

No, I’m only kidding… today.

…Ok and now for the spoilerriffic disclaimer – if you haven’t started watching True Blood, haven’t seen all the way to the end of Season 1, or haven’t started Season 2 DO NOT READ ON! You’ve been warned…

Yes indeed, the stiffened, rigor mortis-fused corpse was that of Miss Jeanette; the con-artist, drug store employee who “exorcised” Tara and her Jesus-alco mum, Lettie Mae. Now, here’s my first gripe: Tara is shocked to the core at the discovery that the corpse was once Miss Jeanette and, for fear of her mother finding out and relapsing (Tara’s mum seems to have been earnestly cured of her psychotic alcoholism), is very reluctant to tell the police that she in fact knew Miss Jeanette. But all it takes is a few friendly words from her beady-eyed best friend and, contrary to the moments leading up, she goes with the police without a second thought. But, whatever. Maryann, that sultry brunette will make it all better for Tara…

Poor love; Lafayette the flamboyant, prostituting, drug-dealing, short-order cook has been kidnapped and held captive by the vampire-sheriff and Fangtasia owner, Eric Northman, in a dark, dank basement, with a few other humans; including one of the rednecks who was involved with burning three vamps in the previous season. Eric feeds off and kills the redneck, spraying his precious hair (which is covered in ‘foils’, in the middle of being dyed) and Lafayette with blood. Amusingly, Eric is concerned that his hair’s dye-job has been ruined; a nice touch considering that he’s a fairly unoriginal, if not boringly cliched, broody vampire that we’ve all seen done to death, in S01.

Sam hires a clumsy, new waitress named Daphne, who incidentally reminds me a bit of Sookie – I think there’s something in that – and understandably becomes skittish of Maryann’s presence, if his flashback is anything to go by… It’s revealed that Maryann is something Other (though I wouldn’t have a clue what), and poor Fido only finds and freaks out, during cherry-popping-coitus with her.

Now, I’ve had a feeling right from the start that Maryann’s a little, shall we say, dodgy? It seems that the good looking women in True Blood end up either being Something Preternatural, or killer-fodder. (Yeah, you read my mind… “if only Paquin was good looking, not psychic and not the protagonist”……. ) Clearly, Sam’s K9 instincts are bang on about this woman-thing, and clearly, she’s trouble for anyone who lets her in. Let’s just hope that Tara keeps that hard head of hers, screwed securely on her shoulders. Speaking of Tara, just briefly, I’m not sure what to make of the charming Eggs (person, not noun, don’t blame me). One thing’s certain though, the fact that he’s one of Maryann’s can only lead to complications for Tara.

Jason Stackhouse as you may recall from S01, went to jail and found God. Specifically, The Fellowship of the Sun, “God hates fangs” church found him. His naiveté and heartfelt desire to be with God set him in good stead with Steve and Sarah Newlin; the church’s sickeningly square leaders who in turn, invite Jason to join their leadership camp in Texas, where he will have an opportunity to really learn how to hate vamps in God’s name.

The Newlins are, as I said, sickeningly square – and their plot (if my writer’s hat is on correctly) can only go one way; verrrrry dark..

Vampire Bill and Sookie’s relationship becomes a little strained as Jessica, Bill’s vamprogeny (yeah, I made that word up) hits a kind of undead puberty, with angsty teenage tantrums and moods to boot. Add to this Sookie’s discovery that Bill was involved in her nasty, sexually abusive Uncle Bartlett’s death and you’ve almost got dramatic tension between Buffy and Angel!! – Er, I mean man-jaw and tin man. Oh don’t worry, they have some unnecessarily overexposed, gratuitous make-up sex (this vamp doesn’t lose his soul!!) and all is fine again in Sunnydale. I mean, Bon Temps…

This time I mean it; I’m Penny B. Dreadful, and you’ve been shit. Ciao.